My country tis of thee (4)

   

                            (geared towards-but not limited to-today’s youth)

         Turn on your T.V. Turn on your radio. Check your social media accounts. What do you see? What do you hear?  I am not the first nor will I be the last to make the observation we are a country inundated with images of drugs and alcohol. You cannot escape it no matter how hard you try. Even the Amish, whose chief tenet is “be ye not conformed to this world” and who shun members who use substances, allow their members to shed their protective skin and recreationally experience drugs and alcohol (should they choose to) during a brief period in their youth called Rumspringa.

 We Americans love our booze. We love our weed. We love our pills and powders. We love anything that proves we are capable of obtaining and handling more than anyone else.

Nothing demonstrates this more about our society than celebrity culture. With fame, attention and money comes the concept you are invincible and have the funds to indulge in any excess you choose. You’re not a true rock star unless you’re sniffing lines while scribbling away timeless lyrics. The only way to celebrate a successful album or movie release is with bottles upon bottles of chilled, top shelf liquor and no memory of the night’s events. And the only way to achieve recognition in the first place is by conforming to the age-old formulas of what sell in the entertainment industry: sex, partying, drugs and alcohol. 

           The most recent and glaring example of this is Miley Cyrus’s radio hit “We Can’t Stop.” How apropos she is without even realizing! We know you can’t stop Miley-you’re strung out dancing on molly and waiting in line to sniff coke in the bathroom. But eventually, she and “they” will stop. They will be forced to. Most likely after an arrest, third stint at Malibu Passages or overdose at the Chateau Marmont. And it’s hard to live up to the lyrics “We run things, things don’t run we. Don’t take nothin’ from nobody” from a jail cell or detox center. On the contrary, sober artists like Macklemore and Ryan Lewis and Lana Del Rey are gaining praise and recognition not only for their talents, but honesty about past struggles with substance abuse and positive messages.

            When it comes to Miley and her counterparts, I am making assumptions entirely. They could simply be going through a rebellious and experimental stage, all the more happy to document it for the public, and will have no issue whatsoever. Or perhaps struggle for some time before seeing the light and cleaning up their acts.  After all, who remembers that the now chic fashion icon and doting mom Nicole Richie was once a heroin addict? Or that Hollywood had written off Robert Downey JR as a drug addicted has-been before his massive comeback in the blockbuster Iron Man? Or furthermore, that the successful and quirky actress Drew Barrymore first went to rehab at age 13? I do not by any means believe that because I am an alcoholic, drinking will lead to disaster for everyone. Or that anyone who tries a drug will become an addict. Those are ridiculous notions. But the sad truth is, more often than not, problems (large or small) will occur due to the use of these very things. It's the nature of their beast.

            So why do we continue to praise and worship this celebrity, drug and alcohol addicted culture? Because it’s what we’ve come to know. It’s nothing new. It’s deep rooted in our past and unfortunately sprouting new life in our future. Although she has been gone for many years, the tragic tale of Marilyn Monroe (a woman whose life and story I identify with on many levels) lives on. Her misguided childhood, mixed with her internal demons, drug and alcohol use and impossible to fathom level of fame made for a very painful and despairing life. No person should be held so high on a pedestal that the fall would break their neck. All that glitters is not gold. Portraying the life of someone who is happy and has it all and living that life are two completely different things. Don’t be so quick to think your Hennessy swiggin’, blunt smoking role models lives’ are all they’re cracked up to be.

 Self- medication is viewed as a quick fix for many. I did not have the pressures of fame, constant ridicule or devastating problems of some and I still sought out a way to numb myself.

             It’s interesting to me that in most cases the concept of “not having control” over something is a scary, even paralyzing, thought - in relationships, with our finances, our health, our careers, our emotions- but not when it comes to substances. We pass along the responsibility of our frontal lobe like a hot potato. If someone were to steal your wallet or unexpectedly force you out of your home, you’d panic right?  You’d feel helplessly out of control. But if something were to steal your ability to reason, to function, to make good decisions, you’d consider that a welcomed hazard. Impairment of speech and judgment are signs you “can really throw em’ back.” Waking up with a hangover and no recollection of your actions are the signs of a time well had. Drunken antics are hysterically laughed at by friends and even admired. 

              “Dude, you were so funny last night. You blacked out and started dancing like an idiot, then wiped out in the parking lot. It was awesome.”

Then there’s that whole buzzed and loose feeling thing that convinces you of being the coolest person on the planet. Your inhibitions are lowered and the suppressed parts of your personality are allowed not only to surface, but thrive. Marketing firms and corporations have done their job well. “America runs on Drunken” is a truer slogan. They sold us the idea that life without booze makes you a dull person; makes your life mundane and socially unacceptable- and we bought it: hook, line and sinker.

It’s difficult not to offend or come off as “preachy” when making a social commentary about the cons of drugs and drinking. If you do not have a substance abuse problem, then by all means, enjoy a martini at happy hour; a six pack during the big game or a glass of wine with your chicken Pomodoro. But keep in mind, you do not have to drink six martinis. Or an entire 30 rack to yourself because it’s Sunday and Budweiser tells you football isn’t the same without a cold brew attached to your hand at all times. Or order another glass of wine simply because your date does. Do not let anyone or anything make that decision for you. I don’t care how attractive Absolute Vodka advertisements subliminally promise to make you. I don’t care how many shots your favorite rap artist is taking in his new video. It doesn’t make him cool and you will never be him no matter how hard you try.

 Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It only gets worse, never better. So if you find yourself unable to stop after that martini, or few beers or glass of wine, take a good hard look at your drinking. If you cannot go one day without smoking weed, it’s time re-think your priorities and goals in life. Being a 40 year old drunk or stoner is not a good look- for anyone.

Yes, we are America the brave. The free. An amazing country that affords its citizens endless opportunities and I would not want to live anywhere else. But we are also America the drunk. The high. The culturally shallow and celebrity obsessed. Our capitalistic hunger and blind need for acceptance sometimes hinders our ability to make the right choices. It’s an unfortunate and hard truth to swallow.

            With that said, the great thing about this country is you can be whoever you want to be. Two and a half years ago I was an alcoholic mess, shaking my scantily clad ass to pop songs about getting shitfaced. And now here I am, sober and exercising my right to free speech by condemning Miley Cyrus. You do not have to live up to anyone’s standards but your own. You do not have to drink if you don’t want to.  I challenge you to discover who you are in a social setting without drinking or doing a drug-you will be surprised at how confident, fun, and intelligent you are without them, and what little advantage they give you in connecting to others. Most new people I meet who learn I am sober do not dismiss me, but are instead intrigued and interested to learn more. I feel just as lively, sexy and fun with only seltzer running through my veins. 

            So take the time to get to know yourself. Do not be so influenced by what this world tries to shove down your throat. Drug use and alcohol abuse are not a glamorous template by which to measure success. They have, and will continue to be, the downfall of many.

 You only have one body, one mind, one shot to make something of this life. Don't waste it being wasted.

**take what you like and leave the rest**